I CAN'T DO THAT ... I'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE!

I was invited to brunch last week by a new friend in my life, Melva. We were sharing stories as part of the “getting to know you” process.

At one point in her life, Melva was an avid sailboat owner. Part of her “gig” was taking first-time sailors out on the water to introduce them to the art—and love—of sailing.

One day, she excitedly invited a young co-worker, Steph, to join her for a day on the water.

Melva thought Steph would jump at the opportunity.

Instead, she heard:

“I can’t do that… I’ve never done that before.”

And just like that, Steph missed an opportunity to experience a great new adventure.

It also made me wonder: How often do we box ourselves in with that same limiting belief?

Creating a vibrant Encore Life is all about trying things on to see how they fit.

In my book, Your Encore Life: Take Center Stage for Life’s Second Half, I introduce the concept of The Inner Scientist and encourage readers to invite her in.

The Scientist approaches life with curiosity and a willingness to experiment. She tries on new ideas and experiences simply to discover what they’re like and where they might lead.

Imagine her in her lab coat, mixing bubbling chemicals, combining elements, observing what happens, and taking notes. She pays attention to what works—and what doesn’t—and uses those observations to inform her next experiment.

Her process is simple:

Mix. Test. Learn. Repeat.

And keep going until you discover the outcome you’re looking for—or perhaps discover something even better along the way.

We can learn a great deal from the Scientist’s process when it comes to creating our next act. But first, we have to set aside limiting beliefs like Steph’s.

“I can’t do that. I’ve never done that before.”

What if, instead, we said:

“I’ve never done that before. I wonder what it would be like?”

That small shift changes everything.

Failure becomes a learning opportunity—information that can help point us toward our next step.

There is no place for judgment when we’re trying something new. If there ever were a showstopper, judgment is it!

Instead, big doses of self-compassion are the order of the day. Self-compassion carries us through those bumpy learning moments with grace and reminds us that we don’t have to be good at something to be willing to try it.

So, invite the Scientist into your life. Listen to her. Trust the steps she wants to take. Pay attention to what you discover.

She may just pay you back a hundredfold.

And on a side note… or maybe not so side…

Meet The Crone Hub, a curated resource hub for women past midlife—although I think there’s plenty there for women in midlife, too!

Launched in July, it’s packed with information and links to books, podcasts, films, organizations, websites, and so much more—all created with us in mind.

It’s the best.

And your Inner Scientist is going to love it!