THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME

I am meeting many women who are picking up stakes and moving down the street, across the country, or even out of the country to be closer to family, friends, and those beloved grandchildren. Some are creating ways of meeting needs that arise with aging.  Carol and husband Tom have a great story and some stage advice for those of you who are considering making a move.

There Is No Place Like Home…Where is that?

Home… essential to our sense of self, safety and connection. Definition of home and required needs can be up for grabs as we move into life’s second half. Becoming over-housed and unable to keep up, needing something more affordable, and feeling isolated in current space are just a few reasons for considering a new home.

For Carol and Tom, it was the loss of the sense of community in their East Denver home of many years as the neighborhood changed.  The final straw was the student/teacher shooting at East High.  Another big concern was how they were going to manage health care with aging in this country.  Tom was 70. Carol 63.  All the options seemed unaffordable.

They didn’t know where, but they did know the desired essence of their next home: a sense of belonging, and the ability to contribute.  That guided the beginning of their search. Carol and Tom researched possible solutions.  For them, the best choice seemed to be Mexico.

Their first step was to select an area and take a 2-week vacation in a small fishing village by the sea.  They loved it!  The next step was a two-month stay.  They began meeting people and learning more about different areas of the country. This led Carol and Tom to decide to rent a place for a year, in an artist community called Ajijic.  Everything was walkable, no car was needed.  Regular walks to the local market netted delicious fresh fruits, vegetables, and connections with the locals.  They found a living community that houses many x-pats, which made it so easy to connect and help each other out.

Carol and Tom initially decided to apply for temporary residency, but it didn’t take them long to realize they wanted this to be their permanent home.

Another big decision to make was what to do with their East Denver house?   It just so “happened” that neighbors had friends who wanted to buy into the area. Done! House sold.

As for medical care with aging; health care is provided by the government if the individual is a permanent resident of Mexico.  Long-term care is there for a very affordable monthly cost for those who need it.  Another affordable option is to hire a live in caregiver. 

Carol said, “Ageism is pretty much non-existent in Mexico.  Tom and I are thriving in a culture that respects older adults.”   Carol shared a story of a friend whose husband is in long term care.  At the end of the day, staff line up to kiss the patients on the head before heading home. She is confident their needs will be met as they grow older.

Carol has these words of wisdom for folks who may be contemplating a move to a new area.

• Pay attention to your own inner guidance regarding needs and decisions.  What is your essence of home?

• Research places of interest.  Network with people to find out who they know that live where you might want to be and connect with them.

• Communicate with family and friends about and decisions throughout the process.

• Start small to “sample” the areas of interest by a vacation, then additional vacations in each season of the year.  For the places that seem like a great fit, take longer periods to stay so you can find your way into the community and culture.  Take your time!

When asked if this change has been a good one, Carol said “we are so happy. We feel enlivened.  Our community has such good energy!  We feel connected, like we belong, and that we can contribute to others’ well-being.  There is no place like home!”